this thing is stupid

But no one reads it anymore so now I guess I can say what I actually feel.  I came home this weekend.  I found this note book that used to be my math note book.  my mom had written a poem in it for me.  it freaked me out to find it 4 years later.  It's about a girl that committed suicide and even though my mom didn't know her she felt connected to her because and I quote "I know you wanted to die before you had to-and I have to die before I want to-and this all seems perverse and unfair to me".  She also wrote about her funeral and she wanted people to have freedom from guilt.  She said, "Don't ever think, regarding me, "I should have..","why didn't I..", or "if only I had..." Don't do that to yourselves! You each and all did great by me. So as you mourn my death, also take a little time to celebrate that we experienced each other.  I would like that."

I can't help by cry even as I re-read it now.  Why didn't she show this to me sooner.  Why did she hide it so that I would find it now so many years after her.  I need to to talk with someone also mentioned in the poem, but I don't know how to contact him. 

emma

i want to move in now!! i'm so excited!

GANKED x2

WHAT AGE DO YOU ACT?

[x] I know how to make a pot of coffee
[x] I do my own laundry
[x] I can cook for myself
[ ] I do my chores after being told once
[x] I clean the house for no reason
[ ] I always do my homework/work
[x] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations
[ ] I think politics are exciting!
[ ] My parents and grand-parents have better things to say than my peers
total: 5

[ ] I show up for school/work/college everyday unless I'm sick..really sick
[x] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse
[ ] I've never gotten a ticket
[ ] I watch talk shows
[x] I know what incredibility means with out looking it up
[ ] I drink black coffee
[x] I know how to run the dish washer..or do the dishes
total: 3

[x] I don't do bad things (what are bad things? i lie to my dad??)
[x] I can count in more than one language
[ ] When I say I'm going to do something, I do it
[x] I mow the lawn
[x] I wash my car
[x] I can make adults laugh..without being stupid
[ ] I remember to water my plants
[x] I study when I have to
[ ] I pay attention at school/work
[ ] I remember to feed my pets
total: 6 (maybe 5)

[ ] I'm generally organized
[x] I know the meaning of cruel punishment
[ ] I can spell experience without looking it up
[ ] The first thing I do when I wake up is get coffee
[x] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need
[x] I understand jokes the first time they are said
[x] I listen to my parents/elders
[x] I understand the fact that the world always screws someone over
total: 5

[ ] I can type fast, because I type every day
[x] My choice in clothing is acceptable in an office or something like that
[ ] I can watch politics and laugh because I understand what is going on
[x] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[x] I can look at someone hot and not think of sex
[x] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[x] I can read a book and actually finish it
[x] People have said that I act older than I am
[x] I can be sent on an errand and not get side tracked
total: 7

Count how many x's you have
and thats how old you act...

25 that's hot

I think about things too much